Sex Is a Feminine
Energy
Why chasing release keeps a man on the surface and what three minutes of stillness can open underneath it.
Gentlemen — if you are chasing sex, you are being led. Not by her. By shakti, the feminine current itself. Desire, arousal, growth, expansion: in a Tantric practitioner, all of it is feminine. Sex is inherently creative, inherently receptive. When we enter the feminine in lovemaking, we enter it literally. That's not a metaphor, and it deserves to be treated with the weight it actually carries.
01The Energy You're Chasing Isn't Yours
Here's the shift: by learning to transmute and sublimate your feminine urges, rather than discharge them, you become masculine. That's the real function of non-ejaculatory practice. Not suppression. Not some badge of discipline. It's a way of building a deeper relationship with your own energy so you stop getting lost in hers, and stop chasing.
02Flow Beats Control, Every Time
The idea that control is a form of sexual mastery is ludicrous. Control will never get you there. Flow will.
Be in flow with your arousal. When you feel it building, relax. Strengthen your root with a light PC contraction or reverse the rising energy by expanding intensely, opening rather than clenching. This is a doorway into a much deeper practice, but even this much, applied consistently, changes everything.
03Three Practices Worth Retiring
A lot of what circulates in men's sexual wellness spaces does more harm than good. Here's where I'd start cleaning house.
Edging
Riding right up to the edge over and over creates a stress response in the body and strains the vestibular tubes in the testicles. Push it further and you risk "injaculating" — forcing ejaculate backward into the bladder, where it gets pissed out later. Done regularly, this can cause real harm.
If you're going to edge at all, back off well before any strong urge arises. Be gentle with your own body; don't strong-arm your genitals. Shifting toward non-stimulatory sex makes this far easier to navigate.
The PC Muscle Obsession
So much advice points men toward kegels. They are strengthening a muscle that's usually already over-tight from chronic tension. Add more contraction on top of that and you get incontinence, premature ejaculation, post-pee dribble, and a pelvic floor that's locked tight in every sense of the word.
If that's you, the work isn't more squeezing. It's reverse kegels. Learn to open and release the pelvic floor through practice and massage.
The "Never Ejaculate" Dogma
Some teachings claim the less you ejaculate, the better off you are. But every man tested in a recent study had microplastics in his testicles, and the body is taking on environmental pollutants, heavy metals, and toxins daily. Ejaculation is one of the body's pathways for clearing some of that load. Withholding indefinitely isn't automatically "better"; it can mean accumulation, and over time, that's its own kind of health risk.
I've met plenty of men deep into years of non-ejaculation. They're human, like everyone else. Not some upgraded version. Maybe they last longer, and that gets mistaken for "better." But plenty of women don't want sex drawn out indefinitely, and plenty absolutely love a man who releases once in a while. Let's not turn a tool into dogma.
04The Real Path: Three Keys to Becoming Multiorgasmic
I've lived this for well over a decade, and I've done nearly everything the wrong way first. So here's the real deal — if you want something different from the usual get-in, get-it-on, get-off cycle, it's available to you. Three keys.
Open Your Heart
A contracted, guarded heart can't access the depth of pleasure it was built for. The heart is meant to be the primary driver of lovemaking, magnetic, vortexing, wide open, while you stay present and rooted, holding the connection with your partner.
If she wants genital pleasure and orgasm, that's hers to create. She can move and generate that for herself. Your job is to breathe into your heart and open to love. Give the body time to register pleasure as it moves through the heart space first. Drop the need to drive toward stimulation, for her or for you. This shift alone changes what's possible.
Three Minutes of Stillness
The moment you enter into sex, stay still for three minutes. This gives both bodies time to calibrate. Let her massage you, kiss you. Touch her breasts, her hair, her body, her neck. Don't move your hips. Let the bodies communicate without the usual rush downstairs. This settles the nervous system and opens the door to pleasure waves.
Choose the Pleasure Wave
A pleasure wave is a choice. You let the energy of pleasure walk through the door without letting it take over the house. That is an orgasm. If you're feeling pleasure, you're having an orgasm. The release of prolactin and dopamine at climax is the end of an orgasm, not the whole of it.
What we're working with here is the beginning and the continuation of multiple orgasms — not multiple climaxes. At least, not yet.
This is an extremely simplified entry point into a much deeper journey — but even this much, practiced honestly, will shift what's possible for you.
I hold a 10-week transformation for men who are serious about becoming truly multiorgasmic: working with the heart, the breath, and the energy body. Not just technique.
If this landed for you, it's the next step.
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